February 3, 2003

Todd Eckert
President, Parent and Child Advocacy Coalition
#87-217 Seymour Street
Kamloops BC
V2C-1E8

To All Members of Parliament and the Legislative Assemblies

Dear Honourable Member and Fellow Canadian:

On 23 January 2003, Mark Dexel, a 42 year old non-custodial father, who had not been allowed to see his infant son for over a year, went to a motel in Kamloops, B.C., rented a room, and hung himself until dead, only to be found later, by strangers.

To you, Mark Dexel is a stranger, an impersonal cipher, but to those who knew him he was a good, clever and affectionate man who's presence made the world a much brighter place. He loved and cared for many people and, in kind, that love and care was returned to him.

Many people would have done their utmost to save Mark, but he hid the depth of his despair, and the loss of his infant son, behind a mask of humor, and, in a last act of consideration for others, died in an indifferent place so that no one who cared for him would find him.

In December of 1998 "For the Sake of the Children" a Report of the Parliamentary Joint Committee on Child Custody and Access was published. If implemented it would have saved the life of Mark Dexel and others, such as Darrin White, who's 14 year old daughter, Ashlee, said: "My father took his life mostly because of the injustices being perpetrated against him by what many Canadians say is a biased and morally corrupt Canadian family justice system."

In a note that he left behind, Mark Dexel, blamed the same archaic, unbalanced, unsuccessful and outdated system. Now Bill C-22 is before The House, an ineffective slight of hand that, if passed, will perpetuate the biased and morally corrupt system that Ashlee White speaks of.

If C-22 is allowed to pass, the already obscene numbers of suicides by Canadian Men, (8 to 10 per day!), will continue, will most likely increase.

Under an evil facade of cosmetic reform, families' lives will continue to be needlessly shattered and children's innocence torn from them. But for what purpose, other than to satisfy the ideologies of special interests? And for what excuse? When we know that the loss of a father is the pivotal predictor of troubled children, a treacherous future.

I, and millions of Grandparents, Mothers and Fathers, implore you, to tell Justice Minister Martin Cauchon he is wrong in not implementing the recommendations set out in the Joint Committee Report, "For Sake of the Children".

We implore you to tell Justice Minister Martin Cauchon Mark Dexels' suicide is unacceptable.

We implore you to demonstrate to Canadian Citizens, by enacting substantive and effective change to our Divorce Legislations, that the needless deaths by suicide, of so many of our men is no longer acceptable.

In poll after poll it has been shown that the overwhelming majority of Canadian citizens favor true 50/50 custody, and involvement.

Survey after survey, research report after report, research paper after paper has shown to an irrefutable degree, that equal access and involvement to both parents predicts the best outcome for the children of divorce.

As members of parliament it is, with respect, your duty to reflect the clear will of the people and the results of honest research in the "best interests of the child." and implement effective and decisive reform in family law.

And, it is reasonable to ask: What as a member of parliament do you intend to do to reform this system that causes incalculable harm to society and lays waste to the lives of so many?

Mark Dexel left behind five children, one, the youngest, will never know him, but all will be haunted for the rest of their lives by the loss of their father. Thousands of other Canadian fathers and children meet the same fate each year by the actions and inactions of the Family Court System. Non-custodial parents are cut off from their children for spurious reasons due to a broken system that mocks the "Best interests of the Child" and reduces justice to a meaningless concept.

For the sake of Mark Dexel and his children, the other exiled fathers still alive, parents, grandparents and their children this must not continue. Take the right action that you know in your heart, is the only acceptable and equitable action.

For the sake of common decency and compassion this unworthy system needs to be fully reformed.

Do your part in reforming the laws to ensure our children have the human birth right to both parents after separation and divorce.

Yours sincerely,

 

Todd Eckert
President of Parent and Child Advocacy Coalition
Past President and co-founder of Parents Coalition of British Columbia
Member Parents of Broken Families
And spokesman for the family and personal friend of Mark Edward Dexel
(With permission from Mark's Family)
http://members.fortunecity.com/dexel/
(250) 554-1418 or 250-314-7722 or [email protected]

RTE/PP